AM I CRAZY ?
Here are a few years that I ask myself the question to know if what I see is real, not every day, but regularly.
I come back to me, instead of being turned to the outer elements, I deal with my case by replacing all the events which take place in my life, I say to myself that if I told only half part of what happen to me on the page, I shall be locked directly in an hospital ! (fortunately I have 2/3 people who know all my life, and who did not phone to a shrink ^^, that reassures me a little!) … then I say to myself, that I would like to be normal.
See nothing anymore, hear nothing anymore, no more premonitory dream where I have to avoid a disaster, no more advice of guides, no more foreigners who come to put “potions” in my cupboard,no more healing in psychology-energy, no more automatic writing nor fortuneteller, no more surprise in the middle of the night to see a ghost sat on my toilet, no more reading in the eyes of the one who speaks to me, no more soul to be made rise to the light, no more connection between the human beings and the deceaseds …
That must be good, to be normal …
I often asked myself the question, maybe I shall have been happier, who know … but … I would have got bored!
Knowing that quite a lot of people have none of these “symptoms”, I wonder if they really exist or if I hallucinate. did you never asked you this question? And if all people who “feel” hallucinated? And if it was the opposite, if all those who neither feel nor see were in fact people who miss something?
What comforts me it is to see that some of my close friends see the same thing as I, even with distance, it is what helps me to reassure myself, to rationalize.
I often wonder if it is not my brain which plays me tricks, my ego which would want to have something furthermore than the others …
Except that when we are several to see the same thing at the same time, what is this? Our egos which plot together? Or the reality? Or a reality for a number of people?
I am also ask myself if there were not sorts of parallel worlds, where the realities would be different for each, not in the sense “we are 7 billions it is normal that we have 7 billion differences”, but the real realities, as in my world it was normal to see the deaths, the guides, the angels, the miserable, to speak with them, and that in the other world there was nothing, really nothing. Not only that people do not see them, but that they do not exist for good!
And if the reality was created by our way to believe. We believe, we see. We do not believe, we do not see, but this time, it really deletes the existence of the object in question …
Every time I come to the same conclusion, if what I perceive makes me happy, this is good, as long as it allows me to move forward on the “transmutation of suffering in love » path, as long as it allows me to evolve in conscience and in co-evolution, as long as it hurts nobody, then it is good, I am on the right track, mine.
Except that the spirituality path hurt, sometimes. When you make a commitment on the path of the knowledge of you, more you move forward, more you lose people that you thought being closed, because you become “too strange”, you become « too much», too « disturbing », not rather « smooth » for this society where nothing has to exceed, everything has to follow the movement.
At the beginning, you hide what you feel, to be able to keep that you think of being people who correspond to you, then you go astray and you go against what you want to be, against what you have to be, to be in agreement with what you think.
It works a while, than you explode.
This is the 1st day besides of your life, or the last one of your old life, you can chose.
Here is a path where you can never move back, think carefully before to commit to it, know yourself is the longest, the most beautiful paths, but also the more painful, and the most terrible.
At the end, you will have discovered your worst enemy, but also your best friend for the rest of your life. And no matter what the others think or will say of you, if you are in agreement with what you want to be.