What is forgiveness?
You need to understand that we meet each other to evolve together, some of us will need harsh conditions and others will be able to evolve in sweetness and joy. Everybody has its own path and if you meet people who slap you, it means that you have attracted them to you, that’s for sure!
It is difficult to accept that we are actually asking for what makes us suffer, but it is necessary for us to realize what is hurting us and then be able to heal it.
Without understanding, no compassion, without compassion, no love and so no healing.
Do not forget that before we came back to earth, we all made the same choice to come back in order to evolve and thus to transform suffer in love. This is the only reason. We did not come back to have a dog, or a lover, or a house, or a job, even if this is part of our lives.
Life is making you endured the same situation over and over again if you don’t understand the lesson you have to learn behind it.
So either you chose to be blind or to act like a poor Calimero hated by life, and thus you suffer all life long, or you can face it, analyze what is hurting you and heal you injuries. If you knew how many Calimero I know: “yes, but you are so lucky and I am not”. I have forgotten that you can earn luck…^^ You have to believe in luck and look for it otherwise it will never come!
How to forgive?
Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting but we cannot heal without forgiving. This is something you do for yourself first, so you can move on.
Just to be clear, it’s not because you can forgive that you have to see the person who hurt you again, unless you want it. But do not forget that we are not Jesus and that you don’t have to turn the other cheek! It’s not because you want to change and evolve that the person in front of you wishes the same thing, so you also have to protect your heart!
Do you think to someone who hurt you?
Ok, so think about him or her and send him/her all the love that you are capable of giving him/her, then go back to what you were doing, breathe and keep on with your life. If you keep on thinking about it, don’t push it, accept that fact that you still cannot accept it and send love over and over again.
You really cannot send love? Oh shit… (We all went through this^^).
I am kidding, it is normal to be mad at him/her. But breathe, calm down and take a moment to ask yourself why this person acted like this? You can easily understand that nobody act badly just to be bad.
These unkind acts come from FEAR and LACK OF UNDERSTANDING. 2 options only (and the lack of understanding comes from fear which turns up into a vicious circle!).
There are always two ways to see things: “I could see the world as if I was the poor victim of a thief, or as if I was an adventurer looking for a treasure” (Alchimiste).
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE! What is this situation teaching me, telling me about myself and about the other’s pain?
Do not push it, time will help to accept the pain in you. Don’t fight against it or you could amplify it willing to reject your ego crying. Just to reassure you, it took me 5 years to forgive some people.
If people around you don’t accept that you feel bad, don’t be mad at them either, your pain is only reflecting theirs and not everybody can bear the others’ pain. When you understand that maliciousness, cupidity, bad-mouthing are illnesses exactly like cancer (I will probably be hanged for saying this!^^), you also understand that they are here just to help us bringing to the surface what we have tried to burry deep inside
You wouldn’t blame someone for having cancer, right? This is exactly the same for other illnesses and the lack of love is the worst pain, isn’t it?
I want to quote a wonderful sentence: “Forgiveness is the key to the door of resentment and handcuffs of hate”.
I think we can forgive anything. If you are not doing it for the other person, do it for yourself. Anger is a gift that, when rejecting by the other, will stay inside the one who wants to offer it.
It is only with UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that we can FORGIVE ANYTHING.
You know when you have truly forgiven the day when you can think to those who hurt you without suffering and wishing them the best.
What about you? What did you forgive that you are proud of?