After the loss of someone we love,someone we were close to, How to move forward?

BEFORE

It has never been easy, but the most important point, is to take time to say how we feel to people we love, because if they can hear you after they die, there is no physical contact anymore. So you should ask yourself “what if I lose this person tomorrow, if I lose my mother, wouldn’t I want to tell her how much I love her again and again? And to thank her for what she has done for me?”

So go ahead and say it now! Tell those people that you love them, that you are here for them and that they are important for you!

For example, before the loss of my mother, I had written a very long letter explaining how I felt about her, how she was hard on me, but also how she helped me become the person I am. She has such a bad character that I am pretty sure she never read it but it doesn’t really matter because at least her soul knew.

THE LOSS

I think we don’t immediately realize when we lose someone. It takes a bit of time to acknowledge that this person will no longer be part of your life physically. I had an “advantage”, which is not really one, to know that my mom would die about one year before it happened (by clairaudience), so I had time to prepare (though we can never really be prepared to this). Moreover, I did a healing session with her a few days before and it was confirmed we had only a little time left. But it was the occasion to take away the physical pain so she could leave in peace and without suffering.

Just after the person dies, you can talk to him/her, if you feel you have enough courage to do it, and tell him/her that he/she is gone because many are not aware that they are dead. You must be very careful because it can be a shock for them. This step will help the person leaving, but also the one suffering the loss.

It was funny because I was rummaging through her clothes and she told me “don’t touch it”. I smiled and answered back that now she couldn’t prevent me from taking her clothes! We were both smiling. I think it was the first time we could speak to each other with love and tender.

The day I truly realized this person was gone was the day of the funerals. I saw all these people crying. I was sad for me I think but I mostly felt the pain of the others. I had the feeling I could bear this better than some people who were not even part of the family, maybe thanks to the way I see things, maybe because I know there is life after death and because I knew I could talk to her again later…I guess it helps.

It is also important to respect the choice of the dead concerning their funerals, burial, cremation or any other way… because the person can see that you are doing all this and he/she can realize that he/she has gone for good and that you respect him/her despite his/her absence. Note also not to argue about inheritance or anything else because it prevents the person to go into the light as he/she is worried.

AFTER

This is the most difficult I think because nobody can understand how you feel if they haven’t gone through it before. Nobody knows how to behave around you and you can hear all day long people presenting their sincere condolences. So it is difficult to move forward when the others can’t!

I knew, thanks to the experience of my mother with my grand-mother, that it is not good to cry for the dead too much because it keeps them close to us. Instead of going into the light, they are afraid we won’t support it, or worse that we could do something bad. They think they can help from where they are, but this is impossible as long as they don’t get their power back. Once in the light, they can come to us during our sleep (have you never dreamt of someone who died as if it was real?).

Thanks to the person I loss (we communicated through automatic writing), I have learnt that even if we go into the light (which was her case), we cannot immediately come into the dreams of the living or talk to them as often as we want because we have to review our lives first in order to see what we have done conscientiously and unconscientiously. Only after that, we are allowed to do whatever we want. There are 7 steps before we can enter the light. Before that, this is what Catholics call purgatory, but the word is a bit scary, don’t you think? During this period, it is very important to tell the person you have lost that you love him/her, that you are here for him/her, because for some people, this step is very difficult as they have to face themselves and their guilt…

This was about my experience and my feeling, but each loss is different for every one of us and we cannot really generalize. We need time to accept it and time is the only way!